ROMANTICIZED ENDING
le 1 mai 2008
11:35 / Marikina, Philippines
———-
Just saw that movie One More Chance in my laptop. I got the copy in one of the share drives in the office (I took several movies) and finally found time to watch it.
I’m thinking that maybe I’ll have my chance few months for now, but that is wishful thinking. The two of them shared something good, and they both love each other. As for me, I can infer that it was just me who felt that way, as apparently, that person was just there for the ride. I don’t really know the real reason why he wanted the two of us to be together.
But I’m getting used to this… or I don’t know. I just hate lots of scenes in the movie. It reminded me of the times that I’ve shared with this person. It feels ridiculous reliving those moments (until now). Should I be singing Mandy Moore’s All Good Things again? Should I always be in the losing end?
I really hate this feeling, but I know that things are far more better than before. Now, I can freely discuss the shit that happened to me before without being close to tears; but I still don’t want to constantly feel the pangs of longing. This shut must go. I still love you but I don’t want anyone to hurt me again. And in doing so, I’m not letting anyone near my life again, though several might have attempted to do such. I don’t know why I’ve shunned them, maybe because I’m trying to build this silk cocoon to evade distraction during this phase or I’m trying to make way for whatever butterfly coming back to my life.
Still, I’m happy that things are still going my way I have the best family who never got tired of supporting and reminding me how wonderful I am. I’m so lucky that I was accepted of what I really am and what I love to do. This is a jewel encrusted in my treasure chest that nobody can take away.
Still, I miss and love you. But you and me is very impossible. I’ll just wait for this feeling to go as I don’t want to feel this way again because, believe me, this is the worst feeling in the world.
xoxo
Bry Dee
About
Bry - 23 y/o Marikina, Philippines
- took up Euro Languages from that school in Diliman (French major, Italian minor)
- works as a research analyst (language specialist-French)
- daltonien ( I see colors okay but just don’t make me name them)
- ne peut pas prononcer bien la lettre “r”
- terribly afraid of snakes
- loves NatGeo a lot
- has the most DRASTIC MOOD SWINGS in las islas Filipinas, fluctuates like hell
- enjoys conceptualizing/takings videos and photos… I love very visual stuff
- executed some of them
- interested to study fashion and would love to really make serious stride for it
- ogles at authentic designer bags lately
- stupid, hopeless romantic
- arrogant and proud (and I hate being like this)
- but very vulnerable during the troughs
- nowhere near perfect
- certain disregard for the word signifying future tense in English
- ka-weirdohan
… I created this to keep track of all my thoughts (even the most trivial) because I want to make sure on something. I’m gonna try my best to be as honest as possible in writing and I’ll restrain myself from mentioning names. This is the only online account I manage because I’ve already neglected my other accounts in other platforms to start anew (supposedly). Bear with my babbling and bitching and all that since I’m trying to make sense out of what I’m feeling and thinking… Staying true maybe is the key
I hope they would make sense… finally…
I don’t know if anyone out there who knows me would be reading things written here… not that I don’t care but I can’t stop you. The fact that I chose to have them capable of being viewed publicly might speak aloud of my intentions, but not saying it is not confirming it. Je veux avoir la paix.
xoxo
Bry Dee
-
Archives
- July 2008 (1)
- June 2008 (4)
- May 2008 (10)
- April 2008 (10)
-
Categories
-
RSS
Entries RSS
Comments RSS
